Tragedy struck the international offices of Jelly Pufflemur recently. It looked to be just another ordinary day, skydiving from helicopters to snowboard across the mountain ranges to reach the freezing shark-wrestling pools, but we weren’t in for the usual boring routine at all. I, our most illustrious Minister for Foreign affairs, found himself glove-slapped by that reprehensible rouge, the Minister for History. Slade then had the gall to challenge me to a sketch battle! The nerve of the man! Naturally, the knave had to be put in his place, so a brilliant MSPaint masterpiece was created, to slash Slade’s unnatural dreams and crush his esteem. It’s glory can be seen here, though I warn you: It’s sheer awesomeness may overwhelm you so much that you will not be able to view any art again without comparing it unfavourably with this.

Mr Slade, lacking my technological skills, drew his meagre attempt by hand. He’s obviously not the Minister of History for nothing. His terrible scribble, worth nothing more then the most base scorn, can be seen here, so that you may all mock it as it deserves:

Let’s face it, English African Elephants are not native to Vardenfall. Not native at all. And The Green Knight is lacking his Drinking Kimono! For shame! Fortunately, the voters saw reason and unanimously declared me the winner. But don’t just take my word for it, here’s what some celebrities have to say:

Tom Cruise: I’m absolutely awesome.

John Travolta: I like planes.

Rove McManus: I’m a smacktard.

And now to hear from some celebrities who actually have something to say about the topic on hand:

Eric Bana: Slade was obviously out of line and I’m happy he got smacked down!

Guy Pearce: I really worry about the state of our history if it’s in the hands of somebody like Slade.

Paris Hilton: Slade’s recent behaviour is even worse then mine!

Fortunatly, folks, all is not lost. After admitting defeat, Slade stood up and apologised for his actions. So now my friend Slade and I once more join JM in the tedious humdrum of taming fire-breathing lions. *sigh* Until next time something interesting happens around here.