Above: My friend Chris on the way to my house.

Now Chris may not officially be a wizard, and he might often deny it, but I know the truth. In order that man kind know what magical forces walk among them, I think I should tell the public about Chris. Shortly after we met he attended an anti war protest I had organized. There were only ten of us there and there were a bunch of crazy arsed rednecks who seemed a bit miffed that we were protesting the US right after a plane crashed into that five sided genocide-pig convention.

We thought we heard a shot fired at us, since there had been threats of violence, but the bullet never struck anything. Now that I think of it I'm pretty certain that he had just cast party protection from missiles. That should have been my first tip. But I didn't really figure anything out until we started playing D&D with him. He taught me just about everything I know of the game, same with Blake.

He DMed in most of our games, but suddenly his mysterious nature began to take effect. He started talking of going to Missisippii. I'd plan to go with him but then he'd disappear, taking off unannounced and returning later with stories of love and adventure and guys named Drew.

So we tried to DM some of our own games, but of course Charles was evil, Rachael didn't like D&D and our friend Christina was so hot as to be a distraction, so all those games quickly degenerated into us beating the living hell out of eachother with medieval weapons or fists on the lawn. It became clear that Chris had been using a suggestion spell to get us all to cooperate in the games, and without him D&D just wasn't possible.

But without him we would be. Shortly before Blake joined the army Chris simply disappeared. From school and from our lives. We didn't hear of him again for months. It was then that we realized what had happened: Chris was a wizard and he had been betrayed by another magus and trapped atop a tower. We began scrupulously inspecting any moths we found.

But the wizard imprisoning Chris wouldn't let any moths get through, until months later he escaped and showed up at our doorstep in some unholy hour of the morning. Blake had to invent "power sleeping" so that he'd have gotten a tiny bit of sleep and together we all went and wandered around and had a D&D gane and ate some food. I believe the reason for his visit was that we bought a can of evil spray cheese and he wanted to ensure that this spray cheese of darkness didn't fall into the wrong hands.

Then Blake was gone, and Chris' visits remained just as sporadic. Tuesday he appeared around eleven and in the day that followed I was too busy adventuring to even sleep. He brought with him a wizardette named Kim, who he had likely rescued from some horrible dungeon in the far off lands of Ohio, where he had just been. We put on our cloaks and quested to wal mart where we bought snacks and bad movies, then we watched these films until noon when we went to a camp site, wandered the woods, gathered sticks, and then he dropped me off at work, and that will likely be the last time I'll see him for months.