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So, what do we have in the news today?
Well, our glorious leader has said that pulling American troops out of the middle east would weaken our country. I think
continuing to poke at dangerous terrorists and make fun of them is a great way to raise up our country....
's likelyhood of being fuggin blown to smithereens. Protesters outside his impenetrable dungeon of doom are clearly growing
fatigued, and even occasionally making mistakes in their chants. One particularly interesting incident occured when protesters
began chanting "No blood for oil" but instead said "No blood, No oil!" Elated, Bush appeared on his balcony and said "See,
now you guys are finally getting it, we cant get Iraqi oil without spilling some blood. Now go forth my minions, and a shiney
new SUV to the man who brings me the head of Muqtada Al Sadr!"
In other news, noted televangelist and crazy arsed Christian Pat Roberts called for the assassination of Venezuelan President
Hugo Chavez. You all might remember Chavez as the first Venezuelan leader to give a damn about the poor instead of blindly
doing whatever the US tells him. This, naturally, makes him a dangerous communist. Donald Rumsfeld chose the opportunity to
point out a little known fact:
" Assassination is not US policy" He said. Please note that the links weren't edited in, and were actually provided somehow in his spoken statement.
I'm not sure I can speak for every radical and communist in the country, but I can speak for myself. Pat, somehow I doubt
you'd have the guts to go after President Chavez. Not because he's democraticly elected, not because he's a good man and a
servant of the poor, not because he espouses Christian ideals in a far better way than you ever have, but because you're a
sniveling coward and a cheerleader for the imperialist regime. And if you ever did, for some reason, have the chance to murder
President Chavez, I would gladly lay down my life, or yours, to defend his revolution. Your life is insignificant compared
to President Chavez. He led his people to freedom. All you do is lead some ignorant red necks in crossburning, you gay bashing
judeo christian piece of shit.
And if we're about the business of calling for people's deaths, than what about Felix Rodriguez, Oliver North, Henry Kissinger
and anyone who was a nark for the FBI against the black panthers or weathermen?
On the lighter side of things, meteorologists are now able to forcast Florida's weather future for the next several months,
and have offered the following advice to Floridians: You're fucked, dudes.
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