"I have come to lead you on a mystical journey, one from which you are unlikely to return!" As he was a wizard he ended
nearly every sentence with an exclamation point.
"If I'm unlikely to return then I think I'll pass," Randylyl said. "Treasure is no fun if you're dead. It's not that I'm
a coward but I really do enjoy living, as opposed to like, you know, being dead or something."
"I only said you wouldn't return, not that you'd die!" the wizard shot back.
"Well, why wouldn't I come back home unless I was dead?" Randylyl replied, trying to rationalize a situation in his mind,
but befuddled by madness was unable to do so.
"You don't live here anyhow, so not returning is no big deal! And besides, you might be horribly maimed and not able to
make the trip back," Phil pointed out, cheered by being able to make his statement seem vague. Randylyl tried to interject,
as he didn't find this a very nice prospect for some reason.
"But -" His protests were cut off and the mage continued.
"Or your face might get eaten by a dragon and you wouldn't want to ever be seen by human eyes again!"
"You're not helping your cause any!" Cried Randylyl the Mad.
"I'm just trying to say that there are other things that could happen to you besides death!" Phil retorted.
"Well isn't there anything better than death that could befall me?" The lunatic inquired testily.
"I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing! Maybe it's just a metaphorical statement that means you won't be the same
person when you return here. Darned if I know. Now, let me tell you about the actual quest.
We must form a group of brave souls to embark upon a perilous journey to overthrow the threat posed by lord Robear of the
Evil Fortress!" The wizard began. "All that stands between him and this defenseless village is the Great Tower of Vigilance,
the Great Seaward Wall, the Impassable Mountains of Fardun, The Emerald Forests of the South." He paused to take a breath
here.
And the Nigh Invincible Floating Fortress of Galba! Oh, and the Muthosian wizards. And the elven archers of the Emerald
Forest! And the warriors of the Warrior Village! And the cunning gnomes of Tranden! Also, the various beasts on the plains
of Illythia! And likely several rivers that, during the summer rainy season, would be in full flood and easily sweep away
a whole horde of goblins!
Where was I?! Oh, yes! I was telling you that we're in imminent peril! Well, I invited a bunch of friends of mine over
and we're going to drag you along on a perilous quest to stop this imminent threat!"
I marveled at what a grand idea this was as the wizard sat down.
On to Chapter 3
