As you’ve seen over the last few days, my colleagues have been typical American jackasses and decided to dictate
the biographies of others. Now, I just wouldn’t be Australian if I didn’t suck up to everything America does,
so, for your reading pleasure, find enclosed here the life of Slade.
The Child of Morte and a bicycle, Slade came into the world as ruler of a duck pond just out of Paris in the late 1600’s.
Here he ruled over his mighty subjects, until they were eradicated by his nemesis, Clover the Cow.
Slade then fled to America, where he found political asylum. Actually, it was more of just an asylum. He lived in a padded
cell for an entire centaury, his life being a constant struggle to keep his eyes from being devoured by rats. After his break
out in 1990, he released the rap hit ‘Ice Ice Baby’, which rocketed to the top of the charts and predicted the
fall of the two towers in it’s lyrics sleeve(seriously, it did). Saddened that nobody took notice of his prophecies,
he remade himself as Pope Sladicus I, and now rules over the nightlifians spirituality with grace and dignity.
Name: Slade
Occupation: Pope.
Age: 327
Religion: Nightlifia
Politics: Mallard Dictatorship
Sex: Skull
Gender: Pennyfarthing
Hobbies: Declaring fatwahs on his enemies and growing beards. He has a rather nice collection of beards in the parlour.
Favorite band: Vanilla Ice, regardless if nobody got the message
Titles: Grand High Chumble of Leet and All Around Nice Guy Sir Slade, His Holyness
the Pope, Brigadere General in the Lew Gosset Musk Army and High Commander of the Rochester Institute of Technology Legion
of Dynamic Discord, Right-Hand Man and Main Squeeze of Eris, Our Lady of Discord, Winner of Fisticuffs, Loser of Love, Lover
of Loss and Hot Sauce, Rightful Duke of Bridgewater, and Just Plain Cool.(I had to sort through pages of forum backlog to
find those, so you better appreciate it. *waves fist* Appreciate it!
Likes: Ducks, swords, water
Dislikes: Cows and water
Favorite quote: "Aiiee" - Roger Explosion, Secret Agent
Favorite dish: Deep Fried T-Bone Steak
Pets: JM, whom he keeps in his basement and pits him against random buffalo in fights to the death. Tickets are $10, make
your payments out to SimeSublime.
(J M's comment) Fun fact: Slade's last request is that upon his death you should tell some random woman that he always
loved her.
