I was in the government lab doing a bit of work with Jemimah, my sassy black friend. I had just finished rubbing some lotion
over my dry and cracked hands and face and scrotum when Jemimah had a brilliant idea. "Hey I have an idea. Let's play 'Jerry
Bruckheimer film'." She suggested. "We can use the deadly neurotoxins we develop here for maximum fun!" I said enthusiasticly.
"Will you be the sassy black person this time?" She asked.
"I decline." I said without a hint of sassy blacksassness to my very white voice.
"I hate being the sassy black person." She responded petulantly.
"Then why not stop being so sassy, or bleach your skin?" I enquired.
"It's not that cracka, it's just that I hate to be stereotyped as a sassy black person." She stated with a sigh. I was
about to reply when she cried out: "Man what kinda FUCKED UP serum are we makin' here cracka?"
"I don't know, you're the chemist here, I'm just the assistant.
"Well, this stuff in the tube is the world's most powerful neuroriboflavin toxin. Within an hour it'll make your nipples
grow hair, make your saliva turn green, turn your hair into hemp rope, make all your pens explode, and create a nuclear blast
in the Pun Tac region of Thailand." She explained as she bobbed her head sassily.
"That dosnt seem too bad for me." I shrugged.
"Oh it also makes your skin melt off and all kinda FUCKED UP BUUUULSHIT!" She cried as her head reached a bobbing velocity
previously unheard of.
"One last question." I begged.
"Sure cracka." She said as her head bobbed around three hundred and sixty degrees.
"Why'd you let me use it for hand lotion?" I enquired curiously.
"Well it does make your skin baby smooth until it all melts off." She said consolingly.
"My scrotum does feel much smoother now that I think of it. But I could do without the side effects." I said.
"Well I was just playing." She said with a chuckle.
"Oh ok."
"Yeah, it dosn't actually create a nuclear blast in Thailand, just melts your flesh."
"Fuck." I said as someone highjacked whatever it was that was on me.
Then Jerry Bruckheimer yelled "Genious!" And Jemimah gave him some sass, and then my ear melted off.
