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Once upon a time there was a kingdom in a forest. It was a peaceful kingdom, so peaceful, in fact, that just to prove
how peaceful it was, they had all weaponsmiths thrown off cliffs so they couldn’t incite people to murder by creating
weapons and extraordinary, unnecessarily long sentences like this one. It was known far and wide as “The Kingdom Where
They Killed The Weaponsmiths, They’re Crazy, Don’t Go There.” Or TKWTKTWTCDGT, which when people tried to
pronounce it, they died. One day, in TKWTKTWTCDGT, a bear wandered out of the forest and started to menace people in the village.
Now,
in a normal kingdom, such as the one next to it (“The Kingdom Next To The One Where They Killed The Weaponsmiths”
or TKNTTOWTKTW) the bravest knights, in all their shiny armored glory and fought the bear, and killed it quite easily. However,
this was TKWTKTWTCDGT, and their king, King Guywhokilledtheweaponsmiths, had killed the weaponsmiths, who would have supplied
the knights with weapons.
King Guywhokilledtheweaponsmiths called his bravest knights and wisest advisors together,
and asked them
”Bravest Knights. How will we fight this menacing… uh… menace?” King Guywhokilledtheweaponsmiths
asked.
The first knight said “I shall slay him with my sword.”
And the king threw him off a cliff,
for weapons were banned.
And the king turned to the second knight and asked him ”How shall we fight this menace?
And
the second knight said “I shall shoot him with my bow.”
And he too was thrown of a cliff.
And then
the king turned to his advisor and asked “Who is our next knight?”
And the advisor, who was actually a
chef, and incidentally, an elf, said he had an idea.
”I shall cook a salami,” Said the chef, “and
I shall use it to go fight the bear.”
And the king applauded this chef, and said “Do this.”
And
the chef/elf created the salami, and went out to fight the bear.
It was a long, arduous battle, with the threatening,
menacing bear slashing at the chef. But finally, the chef struck the bear in the crotch with his salami. And the bear swore
that he would be a good member of the kingdom.
And the chef, who was incidentally an elf, led the bear back to the
king’s palace.
And the king, upon seeing this, was so frightened he ran away and gave the chef/elf control of
his kingdom.
And forever after, the chef/elf was known as King Chefelf. And King Chefelf announced that forever more
the kingdom would be known as Nightlife. And the bear stood by Chefelf’s side. And, as the bear did not want to just
be called “the bear”, it called itself Barend.
And that is the story of how the Chefelf forums
came to be.
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