It isn't often that I like to take up horrible stories for the site, but I sent this to Yahtzee and he didn't even want
to use it, so up it must go. I direct your attention to the following article:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11568174/
A Texas jury cannot decide whether a woman who thought God told her to maim her child, is sane. Yeah, I'm kind of on the
fence as well. I mean God tells me to shave my genitals ritually and then wander the woods while singing showtunes, but I'm
perfectly sane. Maybe this woman just happens to likes cutting off childrens arms and then blaming God. But my speculation
gets us nowhere. Let's listen to some arguments by professionals.
For the insanity defense, we've called in our own expert, Dr. Emilio Lizardo.
"Wella when you get right down to it JM, the only way to figure out if she did it or not is to torture her until that bothersome
cowboy New Jersey and his team of do gooders drop in on ropes to save her. But failing that, we'll go straight to the facts
from the story.
Firstaoff, when the cops found her she was covered in blood and singing a hymn.
The blooda turned out not to belong entirely to the baby, as she later said that God, not happy with her child's sacrifice,
also wanted her to cut off her own arms and then her head. Now this may be common for Red Lectroids, but your human anatomy
doesn't allow for such extravagant means of suicide unless I am mistaken.
She tolda her husband before the incident that she wanted to give her baby to God. He claims afterwards he thought she
was fine.
"The Schlossera family went several times a week to the Water of Life Church. The pastor, Doyle Davidson, testified that
he believes mental illness is possession by demons and only God can cure it." When you go several times a week to listen to
someone who talks like that, you should be medicated. But of course she wasn't, because God was going to cure her. Right after
she finished severing her own head.
The womana also wandered off from her family's appartment two months prior to the murder and was brought back by police.
Alla in alla, she may not be evil doctor material, but she can share a padded room with me any day! I'm Emilio Lizardo,
back to you J. M."
And now, we'll hear from those who couldn't decide whether she was mentally ill in order to get a gauge on their reasoning:
"HI YALL WERE FROM TEXAZ!!!!1111"
It was in this spirit that half of the jury was unable to make the decision. But only after a whole lot of fun and
learning. For instance, one jury member made a request that the judge explain what "deliberations" were. They also seemed
to believe the prosecutor's premise that the woman had some motive for killing the ten month old, which is odd because the
prosecutors never provided anything of the sort.
Her husband has filed for divorce, apparently due to her being posessed by demons. He has custody of her two other kids,
who will no doubt go on to cut off various parts of themselves and others while their one sane parent sits idly by and waits
for God to fix them.
The entire psychological community, hearing of their own complete inadequacy to treat people who are waiting for divine
intervention to heal them, have created an outreach program for crazy arsed Christians. The catch line is "We know we're too
evil and unbelieving to fix you, but a padded room is as good a place as any to await the second coming, fruit job."
